Friday, October 31, 2008

Mi Reflejo, yo

I haven't been feeling like my "normal" self lately. I think this semester is frying my brain.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Throwing the lemons back

I guess I could look at things another way. I got a pretty nice suit (for the interview) for 5 bucks at a thrift store. I haven't been able to find nice clothes that fit me well, so this was unexpected. Also, the fact that I got an interview means that I'm that much closer to getting in. AND, I'm pretty excited about this church retreat I'm going to this weekend. I think things are going to be alright.

I was always the optimistic one.

When it rains, it pours.


I'm not talking about salt. I'm talking about life.

Seriously. This week has started out swimmingly (I only use words like this when I'm sarcastic) - yesterday was uneventful other than a not-so-bad pop-quiz in one of my classes, but today has seriously brought the suck factor to a whole new level.

First of all, I got a ticket that I'm pretty sure I didn't deserve. Here's the story: I put 21 minutes in a meter at 3:03 PM, went into a store, came out at 3:23 PM, and drove off. That was when I noticed this white thing tucked under my windshield, flapping around just to spite me. I pulled over, checked out the ticket, and it said "Parking violation...blah blah blah...issued at 3:08 PM). Wtf? So I drove back to the meter to get proof that I had paid, but it had already expired. I swear, some bitter old meter maid issued tickets before the meters ran out of time, then ticketed cars exactly when the meters ran out. I hate Lafayette.

When I came home, I turned on my laptop and within a few minutes an error message came up that said "No Disk - Windows: Exception Processing Message...blah blah blah." That was weird, so I went online to find the source of the error. NORTON ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE: the king virus you install on your computer to get rid of other viruses. It turns out that Norton can mess up your system because of glitches in its setup/updating processes, so that's what happened to my computer. Segway-slash-not really: Norton effs up registry values on your computer, and when you try to uninstall it (which is very difficult), it tears a jagged hole in your system. So basically, I uninstalled Norton from my computer (links on how to do this at the end), had to fix everything it left in its wake of destruction, and reinstalled a different antivirus thing on my computer. I was ready to take a nap, but then I noticed a notification that I had a new virus on my computer. This one was pretty nasty, and I think I got it in the interim when I was deleting Norton from my computer. This whole process took me the whole afternoon.

And to top it all off, I have an interview for a graduate program at my school tomorrow. I'm not prepared at all, so wish me luck.

Links:

http://www.consumingexperience.com/2007/11/windows-no-disk-exception-processing.html

http://bleuken.i.ph/blogs/bleuken/2007/06/29/viruses-that-uses-autoruninf/

Monday, October 20, 2008

Can't stop them now

I didn't think it was true, but writing your dreams down (or blogging about them) really does seem to help you remember them. This one was from last night:

I was on my hands and knees looking at my front door step because there was a big-ass bug crawling on it. It looked kinda like this, except black, with fewer legs, and with a pair of antennae:



I don't remember being scared - more fascinated than anything - and I remember inching closer to the bug slowly to get a closer look. All of a sudden, someone (no one I know) came out of my front door and stepped on the bug's head. The head didn't crunch like a regular bug's head, though...it kinda just squished flat like it was made out of play-doh. That was the weird part.

I wasn't gonna jot this dream down, but it's been bugging me all day (no pun intended). Oh yeah. I never knew this for sure, but after last night I now know I dream in color.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Another weird dream

I don't even know how to explain this one. Basically, I was in the audience of Jeopardy, but the unusual thing was that all of the contestants were fobs. There was one guy who was about 20 who was owning, a brother-sister team who sucked, and an old lady. I woke up with the biggest wtf feeling ever.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Dreams



I think I don't get enough REM sleep during the week, because when I get to sleep in on Saturdays, I have a bunch of really random dreams. I made the mistake of eating before I made a note of these, so I can only remember three of the ones I had last night:

1) My sister Christina won the lottery by choosing 5 of 6 numbers correctly. The ticket was worth 99,870 dollars (weird number). She doesn't bet/waste money in real life, so this dream makes no sense to me. Yeah, I've been thinking about money and how I don't have any right now, but why would my sister win a bunch of money in my dream? Unfortunately, my mind went to dream number 2 before I saw what she did with the money.

2) I had pop-midterms in two of my hard classes next week, on top of unexpected project deadlines and an expected midterm (I actually have a psych midterm next week, but it won't be too bad). This one wasn't too extraordinary, but I woke up freaked out because I felt that I had a bunch of work to do. Then reality set in and I started eating/youtubing.

3) I just forgot dream three, but I have a feeling that it was pretty random too. I'll update this if I remember it or any more of my dreams.

Oh! Fun exciting news. I think I'm going to sign up for a gospel chorus class next semester. I only need 7 units to graduate for my major, but when I talked to registration, they said that I still have to pay full registration fees. Stupid. But now, I guess I can take some fun classes. The only thing is that you have to audition for the class. *Crossing fingers*

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Coincidence

That's enough for today. I just noticed that the pictures I used in the last 2 post are eerily similar...

My Self-Actualization Feedback


This test measures the difference between how you ideally want to be and how you view yourself to be currently. It measures these differences in six major categories: Autonomy, Mastery and Competence, Personal Growth, Positive Relations with Others, Purpose in Life, and Self Acceptance.

My scores (positive differences means I still have some work to do before I reach my ideal self):

Autonomy: Difference of + 23
Mastery and Competence: Difference of +32
Personal Growth: Difference of +30
Positive Relations with Others: Difference of +14
Purpose in Life: Difference of +12
Self Acceptance: Difference of +23

I think that the areas where I have the smallest differences are the areas that I value most. Which kinda makes sense. So positive relations with others and having a purpose in life are really important to me.

Good thing there are still differences between my ideal self and current self. 21 is too young to be self-actualized.

My Attachment Feedback


Bartholomew's four adult attachment styles:

1) Secure - People with this style tend to apprach relationships with a flexible sense of self-confidence. They are warm and affectionate, and have healthy relationships. They are able to recognize their strengths and weaknesses.

2) Preoccupied - People with this style are the psycho girlfriends/boyfriends. They want close, intense relationships, are very emotional, and move on to new partners quickly after a relationship ends. They often feel that they are in one-sided relationships.

3) Fearful - These people find it hard to get close to others, and only open up after trust is built.

4) Dismissing - These are the self-chosen 40 year old virgins. "I don't need you, and you don't need me."

How did I score?

Medium low on "secure," medium low on "preoccupied," medium high on "fearful," and medium low on "dismissing."

Phew. At least I didn't score high on preoccupied. It's weird. I'd describe myself as borderline fearful/secure, and this is what the result of my test was.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Personality


I have to take these personality tests for my psych class, and some of them have been pretty interesting. I'll start posting the results of some of them sometime soon. I'm too tired to do it now. Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm getting old. But I'm gonna be at school for 11 hours tomorrow, so shuttup.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Today

1) The new MacBooks look pretty cool.
2) I started blogging over a year ago. The anniversary passed and I didn't even realize it.
3) Whenever I get something "new" chances are that it's broken and I have to return it.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Me

I realized two things about myself recently:

1) I need failure to bring myself back to the ground and closer to God.
2) Not getting enough sleep is my kryptonite.

The first thing isn't just school related - a lot of things in my life are going kinda haywire right now, but surprisingly, I'm not as stressed as I've been in the past. The reason is probably that I've been praying a lot more (not for a way out, but for God to supply me in these situations), and reading the Bible a lot more. It seriously makes a difference. So in the end, maybe these failures aren't such a bad thing after all. I hurt, but I have faith He'll carry me through.

I'm not sure what to do about the second thing though. If I slept well through the whole night, I'd have a solid 7-8 hours of sleep everyday. The thing is, I think my mind is awake behind my back in my sleep (if that even makes sense). What brings me to such a conclusion? In the past week I've woken up in the middle of thinking about a problem more than once. And it's not that I'm non-functional during the day. It's more like I'm careless and make stupid mistakes/say stupid things, etc...Basically it's like being drunk all the time, but not feeling good. Sigh...only 2 more months (of this semester).

This is a little off topic, but I can't seem to bring myself to submit the rest of my grad school aps. They're all pretty much done and all the info is loaded online, but I know it'll sting to pay the fee. And I don't think I'd even consider going to MIT anymore. I know I wouldn't be happy with two more years of constant intellectual beat downs and weird and/or non-social people. It took me way to long to find people I like at Berkeley. Sigh...only 2 more months (before they're due).

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Oh man.

...WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS?!?

http://everythingiate2008.blogspot.com/

Friday, October 3, 2008

Gotta keep remembering...

...That there are bigger things in life than school.