Thursday, July 31, 2008

work bathroom etiquette


1) if you're taking a dump, LOCK THE STALL so that you don't blind 21 year old interns.

2) wash your effin hands.

3) don't talk to me across a urinal, especially if that's the only time you're gonna talk to me

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

my mom is going to drive me crazy


my sister's laptop broke, so we're helping her get a macbook/ipod touch combo with my student discount. basically, my mom is doing a pretty good job of being the most effin' impossible person to work with. the following are the text message convos that happened over the past 2 days (she texts me at work like every 5 minutes - ARGHHHH!). commentary in italics:


monday:


mom: channon and i want to get christina a mac. she need laptop because hers broke. do u have discount?


me: she said she doesnt want 2 get one until she goes back 2 school. so ittl last longer


me: but ya. up til sept 15 i get 100 bucks off and a free ipod //it's a pretty sweet deal


mom: can i pick you up after work today and we go to mac store?


me: we can wait until the weekend //usually my sister takes eons to decide what she wants, and i wanted to make sure she wanted a macbook. if you get her something she doesn't want, even if it's nice, she won't fake appreciation and this usually pisses off my mom.


me: ask christina if its ok. she might want 2 pitch in too. //she told me she wanted to spend about 500 for a cheap laptop.


mom: i want to surprise her. //usually a baad idea with christina


me: she might b more mad than happy


mom: can i use your discount? if not its ok. //which in momspeak means, to spite me, she'll go and get the macbook without me = without discount. and she's a tech retard/easily suckered, so this is not good.


time for damage control. i called channon (my other sister) to talk things over with her and we fixed things. in the end, i was gonna be sly about seeing if christina really wanted a macbook (i kno she wants an ipod touch), and we were all gonna split the cost. when i came home from work, christina was looking at macbooks and she really wanted to get one. she was talking about ordering it online by wednesday because she's leaving next monday, so it was time for plan b. i said, "think about it a little more because i'm pretty sure you can get the deal in stores too. that gives you until friday to decide." i said i'd help her look at options at work tomorrow (today) to help her decide. phew!


tuesday:


me: she wants one. want 2 pick me up 2day and get it?


mom: k //so far so good


me: i have my bike so bring one of the restaurant table cloths in the garage //she's really anal about getting her car dirty. my dad has a restaurant. we don't jack table cloths.


mom: can u bike home first or we can go 2morrow //see? but if i go home first and then we both leave, then christina will get suspicious.


me: No she said she was gonna get it by wed


mom: did u tell her we were going 2 get it 4 her?


me: No. me n channon talked. i pay 100, chris pays 400, chan pays 500, and you pay 200. that way everybodys happy.


mom: how did u know chris wan it


me: because i'm cool. i have 2 work now. ill b back at 5. pleasant hill.


mom: i don want ur bike in the car //MASSIVE EXPLOSION OF BAD WORDS IN MY HEAD


maybe i'm just tired, but hot damn. i had to get this out so that i wouldn't be pissed at work.

Monday, July 28, 2008

question.

do lady suicide bombers get 50 virgins after they die, too?http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080728/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq

Thursday, July 10, 2008

People suck.


I was riding BART to work the other day, and lately it's been packed. I dunno if its the gas prices, or the heat, or whatever, but there's never an open seat on the morning train anymore. Basically, this means that I get to work grumpy because I don't get to nap on the way to work anymore.

The train was as crowded as ever yesterday--no open seats again--and this prego chick got on at a stop. The effed up thing is that NO ONE got up to give her a seat for a couple stops. I would have, but I was standing too. Finally, a retarded person in a seat by the doors got up, so I let prego know that a seat was open.

How messed up is it that a retarded lady had to give up her seat to a pregnant girl on the train? Kinda makes me afraid to like have a heart attack or something on BART. Mofos would probably keep minding their own business, or take pictures with their cell phone cameras. Nice world we live in.
More bad new. I gotta take the GREs this Saturday. Wish me luck.
I wanna end on a good note, so I'll just say that there's a company picnic this Sunday with free booze. AND I found out that my boss isn't gonna be there, so :)