Dreams

I think I don't get enough REM sleep during the week, because when I get to sleep in on Saturdays, I have a bunch of really random dreams. I made the mistake of eating before I made a note of these, so I can only remember three of the ones I had last night:

1) My sister Christina won the lottery by choosing 5 of 6 numbers correctly. The ticket was worth 99,870 dollars (weird number). She doesn't bet/waste money in real life, so this dream makes no sense to me. Yeah, I've been thinking about money and how I don't have any right now, but why would my sister win a bunch of money in my dream? Unfortunately, my mind went to dream number 2 before I saw what she did with the money.

2) I had pop-midterms in two of my hard classes next week, on top of unexpected project deadlines and an expected midterm (I actually have a psych midterm next week, but it won't be too bad). This one wasn't too extraordinary, but I woke up freaked out because I felt that I had a bunch of work to do. Then reality set in and I started eating/youtubing.

3) I just forgot dream three, but I have a feeling that it was pretty random too. I'll update this if I remember it or any more of my dreams.

Oh! Fun exciting news. I think I'm going to sign up for a gospel chorus class next semester. I only need 7 units to graduate for my major, but when I talked to registration, they said that I still have to pay full registration fees. Stupid. But now, I guess I can take some fun classes. The only thing is that you have to audition for the class. *Crossing fingers*

Coincidence

That's enough for today. I just noticed that the pictures I used in the last 2 post are eerily similar...

My Self-Actualization Feedback

This test measures the difference between how you ideally want to be and how you view yourself to be currently. It measures these differences in six major categories: Autonomy, Mastery and Competence, Personal Growth, Positive Relations with Others, Purpose in Life, and Self Acceptance.

My scores (positive differences means I still have some work to do before I reach my ideal self):

Autonomy: Difference of + 23
Mastery and Competence: Difference of +32
Personal Growth: Difference of +30
Positive Relations with Others: Difference of +14
Purpose in Life: Difference of +12
Self Acceptance: Difference of +23

I think that the areas where I have the smallest differences are the areas that I value most. Which kinda makes sense. So positive relations with others and having a purpose in life are really important to me.

Good thing there are still differences between my ideal self and current self. 21 is too young to be self-actualized.

My Attachment Feedback

Bartholomew's four adult attachment styles:

1) Secure - People with this style tend to apprach relationships with a flexible sense of self-confidence. They are warm and affectionate, and have healthy relationships. They are able to recognize their strengths and weaknesses.

2) Preoccupied - People with this style are the psycho girlfriends/boyfriends. They want close, intense relationships, are very emotional, and move on to new partners quickly after a relationship ends. They often feel that they are in one-sided relationships.

3) Fearful - These people find it hard to get close to others, and only open up after trust is built.

4) Dismissing - These are the self-chosen 40 year old virgins. "I don't need you, and you don't need me."

How did I score?

Medium low on "secure," medium low on "preoccupied," medium high on "fearful," and medium low on "dismissing."

Phew. At least I didn't score high on preoccupied. It's weird. I'd describe myself as borderline fearful/secure, and this is what the result of my test was.

Personality

I have to take these personality tests for my psych class, and some of them have been pretty interesting. I'll start posting the results of some of them sometime soon. I'm too tired to do it now. Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm getting old. But I'm gonna be at school for 11 hours tomorrow, so shuttup.

Today

1) The new MacBooks look pretty cool.
2) I started blogging over a year ago. The anniversary passed and I didn't even realize it.
3) Whenever I get something "new" chances are that it's broken and I have to return it.

Me

I realized two things about myself recently:

1) I need failure to bring myself back to the ground and closer to God.
2) Not getting enough sleep is my kryptonite.

The first thing isn't just school related - a lot of things in my life are going kinda haywire right now, but surprisingly, I'm not as stressed as I've been in the past. The reason is probably that I've been praying a lot more (not for a way out, but for God to supply me in these situations), and reading the Bible a lot more. It seriously makes a difference. So in the end, maybe these failures aren't such a bad thing after all. I hurt, but I have faith He'll carry me through.

I'm not sure what to do about the second thing though. If I slept well through the whole night, I'd have a solid 7-8 hours of sleep everyday. The thing is, I think my mind is awake behind my back in my sleep (if that even makes sense). What brings me to such a conclusion? In the past week I've woken up in the middle of thinking about a problem more than once. And it's not that I'm non-functional during the day. It's more like I'm careless and make stupid mistakes/say stupid things, etc...Basically it's like being drunk all the time, but not feeling good. Sigh...only 2 more months (of this semester).

This is a little off topic, but I can't seem to bring myself to submit the rest of my grad school aps. They're all pretty much done and all the info is loaded online, but I know it'll sting to pay the fee. And I don't think I'd even consider going to MIT anymore. I know I wouldn't be happy with two more years of constant intellectual beat downs and weird and/or non-social people. It took me way to long to find people I like at Berkeley. Sigh...only 2 more months (before they're due).

Oh man.

...WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS?!?

http://everythingiate2008.blogspot.com/

Gotta keep remembering...

...That there are bigger things in life than school.

good pick-me-up

this made me pretty happy

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/821312/

keep scrolling right