4/8/11. 8 days til i'm done

Sleep paralysis happened last night. It hasn't happened since undergrad, and I think it's the lack of exercise I've been getting because of studying for this test. I gotta remember to put my health first!

Basically, in sleep paralysis you become conscious during REM sleep, where your body is paralyzed (except for eye movements, apparently). It's pretty scary the first time it happens, but I knew what to expect this time. It only lasted for about 3 minutes (I've had a couple occasions where it lasted longer), but it was hard to fall asleep after. Grogggggyyyyy.

Dreams

I was leaving to go to the airport to fly out to a research conference, and picking up two of my lab mates (the same lab mates I have in real life) along the way.

After I picked up lab mate #1, I realized that I hadn't packed for the conference. I told lab mate #1 to drop me off back at my place, pick up lab mate # 2, and then get me again (by which time, I'd be done packing).

Then I woke up because I had to pee.

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dreams mimicking real life...ugh.

Dreams

This isn't the first time this has happened to me, but I had a dream within a dream last night. With creepy undertones for the deepest dream. So I guess I had a nightmare within a dream. That's a first.

In the deepest dream, I was sitting alone on the floor of an apartment overlooking a beach (it reminded me of San Diego), painting something. I had two buckets of paint to prime the surface of the wood slab I was working on, one white, and one lilac. I had the white bucket open because I had already started prepping the wood surface, and the lilac one was closed.

I turned for a second to grab my brushes, and when I looked back, the white bucket was moved about 3 feet from where it was, there was a dark green stain on the floor, and the lilac bucket was opened. I assumed there was a ghost or something in the room and sorta started freaking out.

Then the bucket of white paint caught fire.

I woke up from that dream in my room back at my parent's house, got out of bed like normal, and turned on my light switch. It didn't work. I think I almost realized that I was still dreaming (because supposedly, lights and watches don't work in dreams), but then I woke up again here at Stanford.

My dreams are getting crazy again.

Dreams

I was moving into a new apartment on the Stanford campus - this part isn't that weird because I am getting kicked out during Spring quarter for renovations. However, parts of the dream get weirder as it progresses.

The neighborhood on campus I was moving to was called "The Elephant King" because there was a big jewel-studded elephant statue in the middle courtyard. I got out of my iCar (still the same car in the dream), unloaded some of my stuff, and then walked it to the new place.

My new room was huge and a lot nicer than what I have now. There was a furnace that burned wood (old style) in the living room, too. My new roommates were out, so I decided to get more stuff with my car.

I went back to the parking lot, but couldn't find iCar. So I pulled out my remote and walked through aisles, clicking the unlocker. At least one car in every aisle beeped, but it wasn't my car. I got curious, so I tested one car (Nissan Versa) and was even able to drive it. With Toyota keys.

I gave up, and headed back to the new apartment. Along the way, I passed one of my old professors, Drew Nelson, who looked like he was carrying an Ikea floorlamp.

When I got to the apartment, one of my roommates was there. He looked like a hipster, but in his 30s. Short and stocky, but not fat. We introduced ourselves, and his name was Scott Palmerton. That's when I woke up.
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This is the first time I've created a person in my dream. I do have projections (from Inception, haha!), but my mind never created random names for them. For some reason, his name was the only thing I remembered when I woke up, but as I was making breakfast/lunch, more of the dream started coming back and the strangeness began to be unsettling.

Also, there is no such "Elephant King" neighborhood on campus. I have no idea where that came from.

I just saw Drew Nelson that day, but haven't seen him since last June otherwise.

This is haunting me a bit - the fact that my mind has a bit more creativity in dreams now, and that it's starting to recognize strangeness (like the fact that my beeper unlocked multiple cars) while I'm dreaming. The fact that I tested a theory (that I could drive any car in the lot that beeped with my remote) is disconcerting.

I don't feel rested today, either.

Oh well. Off to lab!

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phew. Just looked in the Stanford Directory. There is no Scott Palmerton here. That would have creeped me the eff out.

Dreams

I was fixing my hair in the mirror, and then my reflection looked at me with an intense serious glare. Almost angry. Then the mirror cracked.

I know, I know. This is totally a cliche horror movie moment, but it's actually kinda scary when it happens to you personally!

Let's just say that brushing my teeth this morning was a bit unsettling.

Dreams

Weird dreams, yet again.

1) I had a cancerous growth on my heart that needed to be removed. The doctor gave me two options. I could either have just the tumor removed with a 25% chance of survival, or have my whole heart removed and replaced with a mechanical heart. In the dream, the survival rate for the second option was better, but I would only have 10 more years max to live. I had my whole heart taken out. I apparently stored my old heart in the freezer because after the procedure and recovery (which were not part of my dream), I opened my freezer and saw my heart sitting there.

I was "in" this dream, not looking at myself from the outside.

2) Someone was yelling at me for not praying before I eat, which I normally do, but have been forgetting a lot more lately. Thanks, God.

Dreams

It's weird - I don't remember as much detail in my dreams anymore:

1) I had left one of my nails unclipped, and it was annoying me. It was the ring finger on my left hand...read into this all you want.

2) I could walk out the front door of my apartment (which is the same as it is now), cross the street, and be in Berkeley.

Dreams

1) I was washing my car. It wouldn't get clean. It was weird because I was washing my car at night.

2) I found a business card on the street that I lost at work. At first I thought this was a memory, but then realized that the number on the card was (999)999-9999. I wonder if I do this for all numbers in dreams.

Home

First of all, I wanna make/eat this soooo bad. Haha.

Second of all, it's kinda weird being back home for the weekend. My room doesn't quite feel like my room anymore, and I think it's mainly because my pillow and blanket are in Palo Alto. That was a mistake. One thing that was really nice was that my dog was super excited to see me when I came home. I wish I could bring her to school.

Third of all, I spent way too much today. I don't usually shop, but stuff in PA is really expensive and I've just been kinda saving my money. I needed a jacket, warm clothes, and groceries, so I took advantage of the cheap Pleasant Hill prices. Go Grocery Outlet.

Lastly, I just remembered a dream I had last night, which is why I blogged in the first place. I was in a building going down an escalator, and there was a mom with her toddler beside her at the bottom of the escalator. The kid tripped and fell, and I remember thinking something along the lines of "Pick up your kid or else he's gonna get a shoelace or sleeve stuck!" What happened next was pretty weird, though. Instead of getting an article of clothing stuck in the escalator, the bottom stair kinda rolled into the floor and the kid got sucked into/eaten up by the escalator. People were screaming, but a security guard at the bottom was like, "It's okay, Ma'am," (to the mom), "You can pick up your son at the basement."

Uhh....yeah. No comment.

"What do you tell someone with two black eyes?"

-Nothing. You already told his punk@$$ twice.

Bwahahahaha! That was random, I know, but I heard it in a song and had to share it.

Routine

Some things are pretty routine around here. These are two that just popped into my head:

1) The sprinklers in the park outside my window go off at 11:30 PM.

2) The neighbor's baby starts crying for 10-20 minutes pretty much when the sprinklers come on.

I don't know if the baby doesn't like the sound of the sprinklers, or if the neighbors beat their baby every night at 11:30 to toughen him/her up.

You know what's funny? The week before school starts I usually have these nightmares where I can't find my classes or where things keep coming up so I never make it to school. I didn't get them this year, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

This week HAS been busy, though. Orientations all week, went home for a half day, sister's birthday, got a bike, went to the Stanford-SJSU game, and read The Lost Symbol.

This post has been another episode of Ivan's Thought Diarrhea. Wish me luck for my first day at a new school!

Dreams

I totally forgot about this dream I had last night until I got to work. At first, I didn't even think it was a dream until I started to remember the supernatural elements in it:

I was in an auditorium watching a woman dancing on stage. It started out normally, but then a stream of water began spraying from the floor of the stage in a perfect arc. She leaped toward it and ran over the arc of water like it was a ramp, dancing with the quickest, lightest steps. I'd describe her as being like a hummingbird, only her movements weren't spastic or chaotic - whatever she was wearing was like a flowing river of white silk behind her.

The overall lighting was a peaceful midnight blue, and even though there was a spotlight on her, it seemed like the only light in the auditorium was from the moon.

When she got to the other side of the arc, the stream of water turned into falling snow, which began to blanket the stage. The lighting changed to a blinding white light. The woman danced under the falling snow for a few meters of the music, and then the lights in the auditorium faded away as the music died down.

It was beautiful beyond words, but... why???

I almost want to sketch a picture of it or something

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On another note, my sister texted me last night to let me know that she got back from Europe.

"I just landed in lax :( ddnt want to come back"

I didn't get it until this morning because I went to sleep really early last night, but it made me feel awful when I saw it this morning because I know exactly how she feels - it made me recall how I felt during my last night in Athens and on the flight back home. I'm realizing that if I don't go back, that will have been the happiest time of my life.

I'm glad she had an awesome time, though. I've been praying for her and the Lord's move in Europe.

Now I have this rain cloud over me at work. I shouldn't be blogging, but I had to get it out of my system. I'll stay a little later today.

dreams

This one was kinda weird.

I was driving over a bridge when my tire blew out and I went over the side. This dream was unusual because I remember so many details - usually it's bits and pieces, but this one felt real. It's almost like I really experienced crashing through the barrier, the car plunging into the water, breaking the window with my keys (after taking it out of the ignition), and swimming out of of the window to one of those orange buoys. The funny thing was that during the whole dream I had this penetrating feeling that I was invincible.

Why can't I get rest even when I'm asleep? It seems like my mind keeps trying to prepare me for things that COULD happen and it doesn't have enough time to accomplish this during my awake hours.

Hoo Haw.

Today...

...Ok. Haha. Had to take a food break just when I started to write this because I was looking up images of chocolate, right after I came home from work, running on empty. You'll see how the chocolate ties in later.

First of all, I had some pretty effed up dreams last night.

1) I was at a random toy store buying a huge stuffed animal hippo. All I remember is that it was about as big as me, gray, and really, really soft.

2) I got bit by a snake. Someone in my house brought a striped red and black snake home, and after a week it grew into this fat white and yellow spotted boa constrictor or whatever. For some reason I was alone with it in the house, got chased by it, and it bit me on the ankle. I remember running to my car afterward, but don't remember making it to the hospital. Hmm...

3) My sister's Yorkie died, so I bought her a stuffed animal one. What's weird is that the stuffed one eventually became alive (Pinnochio!!!). Actually, this might have been a continuation of the first dream. So dream 2, where I got bit by a snake was a commercial? Woah. That's never happened before.

So about the chocolate. Today at work was pretty cool because 1) I got to go to a field site (read "field trip for engineers") to check out some work they're doing on the BART seismic retrofits, and 2) on the way back we saw a Ghiradelli Factory Store and went in and bought hella chocolate. For cheap. Best day I've had at work in a long time.

As a last note, these stories on the news about people who get evicted from their houses, fired from their jobs, etc... and kill their families and themselves need to stop. Seriously. Have some hope/do something about your situation (besides killing everyone you "love"). And leave the kids out of it. They will be fine without your effed-up idea of parenting anyway. If I hear another story like this on the news I'm gonna kill myself. And my family.

Jk Jk Jk

Two new ones

Dreams, that is:

1) I was arguing with my mom about things in my family that are taboo to talk about, and it was kind of refreshing because they've been weighing me down lately. I was mad to the point of tears though. Therapeutic dreams, anyone?

2) My friend was giving me a really bad haircut. I'm pretty sure this one was symbolic for something, but iono what yet. I do need a haircut though.

Can't stop them now

I didn't think it was true, but writing your dreams down (or blogging about them) really does seem to help you remember them. This one was from last night:

I was on my hands and knees looking at my front door step because there was a big-ass bug crawling on it. It looked kinda like this, except black, with fewer legs, and with a pair of antennae:



I don't remember being scared - more fascinated than anything - and I remember inching closer to the bug slowly to get a closer look. All of a sudden, someone (no one I know) came out of my front door and stepped on the bug's head. The head didn't crunch like a regular bug's head, though...it kinda just squished flat like it was made out of play-doh. That was the weird part.

I wasn't gonna jot this dream down, but it's been bugging me all day (no pun intended). Oh yeah. I never knew this for sure, but after last night I now know I dream in color.

Another weird dream

I don't even know how to explain this one. Basically, I was in the audience of Jeopardy, but the unusual thing was that all of the contestants were fobs. There was one guy who was about 20 who was owning, a brother-sister team who sucked, and an old lady. I woke up with the biggest wtf feeling ever.

Dreams

I think I don't get enough REM sleep during the week, because when I get to sleep in on Saturdays, I have a bunch of really random dreams. I made the mistake of eating before I made a note of these, so I can only remember three of the ones I had last night:

1) My sister Christina won the lottery by choosing 5 of 6 numbers correctly. The ticket was worth 99,870 dollars (weird number). She doesn't bet/waste money in real life, so this dream makes no sense to me. Yeah, I've been thinking about money and how I don't have any right now, but why would my sister win a bunch of money in my dream? Unfortunately, my mind went to dream number 2 before I saw what she did with the money.

2) I had pop-midterms in two of my hard classes next week, on top of unexpected project deadlines and an expected midterm (I actually have a psych midterm next week, but it won't be too bad). This one wasn't too extraordinary, but I woke up freaked out because I felt that I had a bunch of work to do. Then reality set in and I started eating/youtubing.

3) I just forgot dream three, but I have a feeling that it was pretty random too. I'll update this if I remember it or any more of my dreams.

Oh! Fun exciting news. I think I'm going to sign up for a gospel chorus class next semester. I only need 7 units to graduate for my major, but when I talked to registration, they said that I still have to pay full registration fees. Stupid. But now, I guess I can take some fun classes. The only thing is that you have to audition for the class. *Crossing fingers*

2 things

1) I want to build a giant microwave so that anyone who sticks their baby in a microwave will have an appropriate form of punishment.

2) I've been having dreams where I'm running lately. Not from a monster or anything...just running. I don't know where I came from or where I'm going, but I wake up before I get there.

Sleeping to dream...about school?

The back-to-school "nightmares" started again. The one I had last night was new, though--usually I just dream about stupid things like not being able to find, or get to, my classes. Or there's that rarer, but more hilarious one where I have to take a dump but am not allowed to leave the classroom. Actually, I used to get that one a lot when I was in elementary school.

Here's what I remember (I totally should have posted it this morning when it was still fresh, but I woke up late and had a busy day): I was meeting my professor (don't remember what he looked like in the dream) for an interview for a research project with him. Everything went well, but he got a call at the end of the interview and left the room. As he left, some guy in a white coat came in and said that I had to take a test to see if I was qualified or something like that. I remember thinking, "this was weird," but going along with it because I figured it was a written test and I'd be okay. We went to another room and he gave me a vaccination for hepatitis 4 (I know, right? What the hell?!?) and drew some blood. That's when I woke up. Aiyayai. Funny thing is, I'm actually more fascinated that these things go on in my head than creeped out.

Why am I so weird?